Nathaniel's Stupidity
by Jambalaya Rootbeer Puff
Summary: Sure, Nathaniel's stupid..., but you've never seen him THIS stupid. Take a flashback to Nathaniel's stupidest moments
1. Chapter 1

We all know Nathaniel is stupid, but this flashback talk show will relive some of Nathaniel's crowning moments of stupidity.

NATHANIEL: Where am I? Who am I? Who are you people?

We already told you, how many times again, you're on a talk show and you're Nathaniel.

Now, we take you back to Nathaniel's days as a roller disco star…..

Years ago, when Nathaniel was even stupider than he is now, if that is at all possible, he had a dream. A dream of spandex and roller skates. A dream of funky fresh moves and fab beats. A dream of roller disco. However, Nathaniel's dream crashed and burned when he attempted to shove the roller skates in his mouth and then to skate on his head…. without pants. Nathaniel, what do you think about this failed dream haunting your past?

NATHANIEL: I like donuts; and telling people my birth name, and playing the didgeridoo.

Nathaniel, you can't play the didgeridoo.

NATHANIEL: I CAN'T????? WHHAAAA!

Get over it! Now, to Nathaniel's days in band class…..

Nathaniel was never talented with instruments, but when he was forced to join the London Losers, a band of surprisingly talented hobos, by his master, Jessica Whitwell (who said that he needed to be more well rounded) this had to change. As I said earlier, Nathaniel did _not _play the didgeridoo. He played the tuba. While playing in the London Losers, he forgot to breathe while playing the robust instrument, and was rushed to the hospital by the very hairy hobos. Nathaniel, what do you think came over you that fateful day?

NATHANIEL: Breathing is hard stuff, man! You just don't understand my needs!

Sure we don't, crazy, now time to go night, night. And we'll be right back after Nathaniel gets his shots, because he's foaming at the mouth, I mean after these messages!

**CLIFFHANGER **


	2. Chapter 2

And we're back to Nathaniel's stupidest moments. Nathaniel, what would you consider your stupidest moment?

NATHANIEL: (snores)

Oh yeah, we made Nathaniel go night night…. I mean NATHANIEL WAKE UP!

NATHANIEL: Wha, what? Your honor, I confess that might have kidnapped Faquarl, but ya gotta understand, it was outta love.

Uhhh… Nathaniel? We're on the air

NATHANIEL: AHHHH! Sorry, I was having a dream about my sweetie Faquarl, and you know how love is.

Sure we do. Nathaniel, the public wants to know, what's your stupidest moment?

NATHANIEL: Well Steve,

My name's not Steve.

NATHANIEL: What ever, like it matters. I'd have to say the time I swallowed an imp. It was a day like any other…..

Uh oh, Flashback….

NATHANIEL: I was carefully alphabetizing my dolly collection when a vicious imp burst through my window. I was practically defenseless except for my skill and cunning.

So you were totally helpless. Go on.

NATHANIEL: As I was saying, he was huge, mean, ancient, and powerful. But I was too quick for him. I opened my mouth, pretended to be swallowing my hyper pills, I mean I'm too buff pills, and he was gone. That imp has been in my tum-tum for weeks, and I've been constipated ever since.

Interesting Nathaniel, we needed to know that. Well folks, it looks like we're done here. But what's that, in the distance? It can't be, no, it is…..

**YAY! ANOTHER CLIFFHANGER!**


	3. Chapter 3

It's SUPER KITTY! Yes, Kitty Jones, super hero extraordinaire is here to talk on the subject of Nathaniel's stupidity.

KITTY: Yeah, what ever. I'm not here for that, I'm here for Nathaniel. (to Nathaniel) What's this I here about you and Faquarl?

NATHANIEL: No Kitty, it's not what you think. Faquarl's just a friend.

KITTY: Oh if I had a nickel….

NATHANIEL: (in a gangsta tone) Oh, come on baby, you know you're still number 1. (whimpering) Don't leave me. Pleasee?

Well, it seems Nathaniel is in fettle position, and is begging for Super Kitty to take him back.

NATHANIEL :( still whimpering) Please Kitty, I'll…. HEY! I'm not begging, or in fettle position.

KITTY: Give it up Nathaniel. Super Kitty OUT!

NATHANIEL: Super Kitty out? What are you, some kind of cat-themed rapper now? Haha!

KITTY: (scowls) You are _so_ immature, Nat. We're over. See you NEVER!

NATHANIEL: (sniffing) Immature? (Nathaniel begins to cry) NO! What about the love we share?

Stop it Nathaniel, you lost her. Hey, maybe we should add this to the list of stupid moments. It's up to you audience, to vote for your favorite Nathaniel moment on this episode. We'll see you next week for the results, and an in-depth look at Bartimeaus: A 5000 year old djinn with 5000 year old acne? Find out next week. I'm Rob (_not _Steve) and this has been, Nathaniel's Stupidest Moments.

The End


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